Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
and eventually we just all took our pants off
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize