I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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