You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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