Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
