I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
