I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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