I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
