I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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