Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
bring money and cleavage
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
