Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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