i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
