So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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