Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
