I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
