Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
