You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
