you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Me too!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
