wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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