The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
