I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
