Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This is the high leading the old right now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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