Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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