i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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