Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
