I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
