who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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