I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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