I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
