so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
