i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
