Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
