Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
