After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
