I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
