If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
