remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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