I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
