so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I need moral support for this bender
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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