YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
