dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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