I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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