that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
