One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
