He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
