u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
