More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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