"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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