I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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