Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bring me that man meat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
