Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
