Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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