Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
