Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Vodka?
Forever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize