She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
