Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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