You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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