As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
