Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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