I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
