We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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